Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
