I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
