Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
smell my finger.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
