Pappa wants mamma naked
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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