Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize