She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
