I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
