I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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