then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
