I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
