what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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