jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
