I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
