He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Randomize
