Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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