Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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