okay pat passed out under dana's car
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
