I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We left an ass print on the piano.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
