So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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