I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
