Michael Bay diarrhea
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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