when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I have demons in me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
