No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize