we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
