Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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