oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
