I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
