My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
