I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
