piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
