Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
