I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
is wine microwaveable?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
