I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I need water and some morals
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
