I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Terrible idea I love it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
