6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
