Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ttyl tear gas
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
