if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
