Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
