My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
where am i from again
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
is wine microwaveable?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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