Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
