I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
