I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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