You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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