My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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