I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
