i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Sacagawea was the original milf.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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