i think my mom watched the whole time
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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