I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
how drunk are you?
Several
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
