I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
