Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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