I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
