Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
