Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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