I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
