You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
