she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
