hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
