I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize