Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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